What Rubs my Ropes

Dear Pirate Log,

Do you know what really rubs my ropes? When people glorify ninjas. The truth is, ninjas are neither mammals, nor sweet, nor totally awesome, and they flip out and kill people. Wouldn't you rather be a pirate? We have many things to offer, like scurvy and RUM.

Remember kids, anytime you pretend you're a ninja, your mother dies.

I know where your mother lives,

Long John